Meet the Mertzes

Well, Eloise completely went off the deep end and got to where she not only wouldn't come in the house but she wouldn't even stay around our door. She took up on other neighborhood decks. We worried, we fretted, we passed cans of cat food out to neighbors who were "hosting" her but there was nothing she would let us do for her. So I told Duncan I wanted a new cat -- one that we were sure would be a good lap cat.

We ended up with two -- a brother and sister, 10 years old, declawed, sort of plump, big sleepers, and they don't mind being picked up and cuddled. Perfect. Since they are older and a bit frumpy, we named them Fred and Ethel.

Fred

Ethel

The Charleston Animal Society made a big deal about wanting them adopted together because they had always been together but we have discovered they don't really like each other all that much. Ethel is definitely alpha and sometimes out of the blue she'll pounce on ole Fred and they'd yowl and round around in the floor then shoot off in different directions and act like nothing happened.

Last week we looked out the back door and wouldn't you know it, there was Eloise! Ethel fluffed her tail up real big and started hissing, Fred started prowling around with his tail all fluffed up and Eloise blew her tail up to 3 times its normal size while she held her ground. Uh-oh. . . Busted!

I'm sorry Eloise, but we tried to do everything we could for you. You are welcome to be the porch cat. I promise you will eat well. But Fred and Ethel are the indoor cats now and we simply will not allow you to come in and rip their throats out.

Eloise has come around several more times after that. We've always taken food out to her and the three cats have paid less and less attention to each other each time. So, we're going to make this work -- awkwardly, but it's going to work.