What I'm Thankful For. . .

This year's big thing is that Debbie died in April, suddenly, unexpectedly, and pretty much inexplicably. Even in that, there are a million tender mercies, circumstances that aligned in the best possible way, people who have been unbelievably kind, an entire family of relatives and friends who have found ways to help each other through. All I will say here is that I am profoundly grateful for her -- for my life as her sister, for the gifts that shone in her, and the good work she did so well in the world.

I am thankful that we now have a President who speaks in complete sentences and paragraphs. I just feel better when the person in charge has a command of the English language.

I have a job, a good job, a fun job, an interesting job. It has a decent salary, health benefits and 401(k) with employer match. Plus free parking. And I can leave it there. When I get home I can “kick off my shoes and waltz around my kitchen singing “I am a piece of work!”

One of the things you miss when you don’t “work outside the home” is – office parties. Where else can you eat brownies and artichoke dip before lunch? In my four short months of employment, I have attended two birthday celebrations and a very elaborate baby shower.

Mom and I traded cars this summer and I now enjoy cruise control and automatic locks.

Maybe the most enduring gift that came this year was when Debbie took Mom and Uncle Bill into a StoryCorps booth in Ashville and got them talking about their memories of growing up and of WWII. We now have a 1-hour CD that is a special, priceless record of family history. I’m also thankful for the afternoon the whole family gathered in Chapel Hill to listen to it for the first time, together.

As always, old and dear friends have been so important. Christy and I got a weekend away this year. I spent several days in Greensboro, staying with Julie Knight and playing mad Banana-gram. I got in an overnight visit with Pat Weathers, and a recent girls’ weekend at Lake Gaston with Lee and Kathy – board games also a fun part of that visit. Is there a theme developing here? The miracle, though, was when it finally made it through my thick skull what good friends I have right here in Charleston. Life is good!

We have especially enjoyed the good friendship that has developed over the year with Marcus and DeDee and 2 year-old Fiona. They live very close by and during the summer we got into the nice habit of meeting at the swimming pool after dinner and just floating and talking and playing with Fiona. It was so lovely for all of us and now, I think, we are just all very special to each other. And, there is nothing quite like being special to a 2 year-old.

I bit the bullet and got a real, grown-up cell phone this year and like it more than I thought I would. We’re still holding out on cable, but for entertainment are thankful for CNN.com, Netflix, and Hulu.com -- and friends.

It is Thanksgiving, and impatiens are still blooming in Charleston and in my yard.

Duncan. I’m eternally thankful for Duncan. He has been patient with and supportive of me in my unemployment, in my grief, and in my incessant travels. He often makes me laugh before breakfast and every time I leave the house he always tells me to “Be careful.” which is his code language for he loves me. Like I said, life is good.

Church at the Beach

Sunday morning Duncan announced he thought he'd like to worship at Folly Beach this week and he didn't get any argument from me. The temperature was in the mid 70s, the sky was blue, and we both felt the need to just be and listen to the surf.

So we broke bread at the Lost Dog and took our beach chairs and books and stilled our minds and bodies while watching an incredibly steady stream of young and old going into the water with surfboards. I had no idea there were so many people who owned wet suits. Before it was over, we took a short walk, but mostly we just sat and read and napped and listened to waves and gulls and felt the breeze. It was a good service.

Fiona the Alligator

Is she cute or what?

check out the
"crocs"

Girlfriends' Weekend #4

Well, this is hardly a picture of Kathy, Lee and me, but while my camera continues to be the most erratic piece of equipment I own, I must be creative with finding illustrations for these musings. I have been very clear with Santa about the importance of a working camera.

I've known Kathy and Lee since the summer after freshman year. There were years and years when seeing each other was a rare event. Now, we are not especially good at staying in touch -- not even through e-mail, but for the last few years, we have managed a nice weekend together in a different location. This year, Kathy drove from Manassas, Lee came from Staunton and we converged at the house at Lake Gaston.

What a great, comfortable house this is. It is much the same as it has always been, but spruced up a bit (freshly painted this summer in wonderful colors!) and just well cared for.

We first knew it as Dr. & Mrs. Taylor's house. Then, we came to think of it as Uncle Vic and Doris' house -- now time has marched on and Mark and Margie have stepped up to the plate to be the ones to deal with upkeep, spider nests, and guests who leave wet towels to mildew on the bathroom floor.

Over the years I have had a few mishaps as a houseguest there. Most that remain in my memory now were run-ins with snakes. But thank goodness it was not me who flipped off the breaker for the refrigerator on my way out the door at the end of a stay some years ago. That's all I'll say about that until I am sure Mark and Margie don't walk into a flooded basement next time they go up there.

As usual Lee and Kathy and I had an easy, fun weekend. Kathy always likes to plan menus and cook interesting things. Part of her challenge, aside from Lee being vegetarian, is to make the most of some key ingredients so that our grocery list isn't too long just for one weekend.

This time it all worked out perfectly with one meal a roasted cauliflower in cream sauce over whole wheat penne pasta (way better than it sounds, due to the addition of walnuts), and another dinner of cheese ravioli with salsa and black beans and a very dense, moist cornbread. Extra nice salads with everything and generous servings of wines. All good.

When we weren't eating, we walked dogs, caught up with each other's lives, discussed Obama's first term, Lee's plan to run for county council again next year, and played board games -- when have I done that?? It was relaxing and just a lot of fun! They were good enough to listen to the StoryCorps CD Mom and Uncle Bill made earlier this year. That generated a lot of stories about their parents and grandparents and how everyone survived The Depression and what they did in The War. The premise of the StoryCorps project is absolutely true. Everyone, everyone has a story -- and hearing each other's stories is better entertainment than anything else that is offered to us.

We had such a good relaxing time, it has made me realize how backed-up I am feeling all the time these days. To violate my own "No Whining" rule for a brief moment, I have a pile of summer clothes on the chair in the bedroom that need to go in the attic, and there is a large group of winter clothes somewhere and I'm not remembering where. I have a printer that is connected but won't print, we have a major leak in the shower that we can't seem to coordinate with the plumber to see about, there's a roll of very cool paper that I ordered for origami boxes that I haven't even opened yet. Oh yeah, and I hit a stray key while paying bills on-line and they deducted $4, 516.40 from our account instead of $451.64. That took some dancing. And the cat needs to go to the vet. And the cat doesn't want to go to the vet. Is everyone's life like this?

And Debbie is still dead. It is inexplicable that this is such a huge weight that it slows everything down to a slogging through the mud pace. It cannot last forever, but it is that way for now.

Even in this state of discombobulation, I am using drive time to mentally compose my annual list of all I am thankful for. An annual weekend with friends of 30+ years definitely makes the list.

Breathe in. Breathe out.